Ten jokes
When you are free, you will always sit next to the dog bowl, as if you are waiting to eat at any time. When it is tied, the direction of the head is always towards the direction of the dog bowl, no matter how far away from the dog bowl... This is the top foodie!
Second, I remember when I was in college, I once went out with my roommate to withdraw money and stood in line in front of the ATM. In front of us was a blind man. That's what my roommate just said. The ATM should have a digital tone when entering the password, so that blind people can withdraw money more easily. I was wondering how I got such a dumb roommate.
Three, about a few brothers out to eat late at night, found a brother behavior is a little weird. I saw him drink a few sips of wine, took out his wallet to see a few eyes, drink again, look again, and so on. I didn't understand and asked him: "Why do you always look at the wallet, afraid of not enough money?" The man said, "No, I'm looking at a picture of my wife, and if I think my wife is soft and beautiful, then I'm drunk, just like the day I met her!"
Fourth, my son's final exam last, parents meeting, I was angry with my son's teacher: "My son's academic performance decline, you should have found early to inform me!" Teacher: "What am I telling you? Your son wrote in his essay "My Family" that my father was arrested for many years and has not come out yet, and my mother ran away from home and has not been contacted for many years!" I...
Everyone wants to be recognized by others, everyone wants to show their ability, everyone enjoys being admired by others eyes, be revered by others expression. But life, sometimes is not satisfactory, we realize that we are not perfect. But he longs for the flattery of others to reflect his perfection, and those who criticize you are not necessarily enemies, and those who praise you are not necessarily friends.
Mother is going out shopping, warning brother not to play computer before going out. Mom just went out, this guy turned on the computer to play, is playing mom suddenly came back, brother quickly turned off the monitor. When mom walked in the door and pointed at her brother, she gave him a bad rap. I quietly asked my mother: how did you find out that your brother plays computer? Mom quietly said: I go out when the WiFi is off, when I get downstairs the phone will automatically connect. There are countermeasures from below and policies from above!
Brother several party, drink is high, a brother's wife called him, let him go back. He turned to us and said: Brothers, next time. I enjoyed her youth and had to accept her capriciousness. After hearing this, the other brothers were wet in the corners of their eyes and thought: You are the only one who can say that the wife is afraid of justice.
Eight, downstairs a Sichuan malatang is particularly authentic, when I met the boss today, I asked: your malatang is so authentic, you must be the boss of Sichuan, right? Boss: That's not good.
At that time, I was the monitor of junior high school, because the school fights are particularly many, the head teacher let me sit at the front door of the first one, said to protect the class. That night, a group of people rushed into the class, without saying a word to seize me directly beat me, and then the lead foot put me under the foot said: "Call your class monitor out!" With the whole class watching, I slowly raised my hand from the ground...
Once I went to a chicken farm to buy fresh eggs. Me: "Boss, today the egg looks much smaller than before!" And your price tag is higher than before." Chicken farmer: "You concentrate is the essence, so this egg is expensive."