Six hilarious jokes

1. My wife sent me a distress message in the Gobi Desert: "I am lost, surrounded by desert, and now I am dehydrated, what should I do?"

I replied, "Drink plenty of hot water and take good care of yourself!"

2, the washing machine is broken, see the daughter-in-law work very tired, help her to wash the clothes, wash my confidence and daughter-in-law said, look at my washing machine is clean.

The daughter-in-law returned a word "um" so a few months passed, the washing machine also put there did not repair.

3, the wife: other people's husband double eleven directly bought her shopping cart, you look at you ~

Husband: Ha ha, actually I was ready.

Wife: You want to surprise me? Go ahead. What have you got for me?

Husband: I didn't buy anything, I'm ready to be scolded by you...

4, my wife bought a breast enhancement product from the Internet, but she was not at ease with the product, so she discussed with me, let me try a few times first, see how the effect is.

I protested, "Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to go out and meet people when I'm a man and my breasts are big!"

She sneered: "Who told you to wear boobs?"

I...

5, wife: not happy, want to scold!

Husband: Then you scold me severely, you are happy.

Wife: Do I have to say it again? Only! Think! Curse! Man!

Husband: That's very artistic...

The wife wants that on a whim, the husband smiled, took out one hundred yuan and threw it to the wife, and then went to sleep.

Wife: "Give money and don't do it?"

Husband: "HMM!"

Wife: "Then what do you call this fee?"

Husband: "Protection money!"

Wife: "Protect what?"

Husband: "Kidney!"