Don't call yourself the author

The teacher told the students: "In the future, write articles, do not call yourself the author, because now, no one uses a pen."

The student asked, "What should it be called?"

The teacher said, "Call the key man."

The student asked, "Oh, what about the ones that only use the mouse?"

The teacher said: "Call rats."

The student then asked, "But now everyone uses smart phones, which are touch-sensitive, what should it be called?"

The teacher said: "Call touch life!"